Marriage

I think Pauls going to ask me to Merry him...and the delema i'm having is that i'm not in love with him. For the first time ever last night, he told me he loved me after we kissed and made out for an hour. I really didn't know how to repond...he layed his head on my chest and held my hand. Minutes past and he reached into his pocket and showed me a ring. He didn't say though "will you merry me" he said "will this fit?" and put it on my ring finger...needless to say it didn't fit and it was to small. trying to break the tension i replyed with "ooh, too bad" and laughed nervously. He laughed to, although i think i hurt him.

We never did sleep together last night, it was to much emotion and confusion being thrown around. I called my mom and she thought the situation was fucked up, and tried cheering me up by saying "well son, you alwasy said that you'd merry rich!" lol, loving mother. i know she was joking, but it hit a little deep. yes, for years i've been joking around about getting divorces and marrying for money. But, this whole situation happened. Paul is rather wealthy, esp with his parents Real Estate in London and apparently California as well.

"two AM and she calls me because i'm still awake, can you help me unravle my latest mistake, i dont love him"
-Anna Nalick