Obsessive Wealthy Stalker Guy-Obsessive Wealthy Stalker Guy's Roomate-Married guy

Paul Kensington, he lives up to his name, rich, snobby, doesn't/hasn't worked an entire day in his life, lives off trustfund, and mummy and daddy pay the bills. Parents, huge realtors in London, Washington, NY, and LA. Sister is Rebecca Kensington, loves eating, snowboarding and Political Science.

Met Paul through his cousin robert, met Robert a an Unitarian Universalists Conference in Minneapolis a few years ago.

Story with Paul-When i first met Paul, there wasn't any dating or friends, we just hopped into the sack and did the dirty. Which i had been fine with for a while BC i hadn't actually wanted anything from him, relationship wise. But, as time went on we started hanging out, going on dates, doing extremely random things at all hours of the night. It was going great, and then we started to involve Paul's roomate Mark in our nightly romp-around...it got even better. The first night we all got in on it...it was a Wednesday, and i was supposed to be meeting people for a party, but instead i got mixed up with Paul and Mark. It just started out Paul and i making out in the kitchen while trying to get a cup of milk BC i had heartburn, but Paul kept saying " i'll show you some good milk" and kept pushing me away from the fridge in a playful manner, lol. Mark finally walks up to the fridge and pours a glass of milk and starts drinking it in front of me. I called him a bastard and sprayed water at him from the facet-handle-thing and he pours the entire glass of milk onto Paul and i. Knowing i'm not going to the party with ruin clothes i went all out and douced Paul and Mark with water as Mark attacks Paul with a jug of milk, Paul runs outside while it's raining and strips down to his boxerbriefs (of course they're white so i can see everything) Mark does the same as he's still holding the damn jug of milk spraying it around.

Then unspokenly they both attack me, Paul starts to un-botton my shirt and he's kissing me. Mark walks up behind me and puts his hands on my uppershoulders, and slowly moves his hands down towards my pants. At this point i didn't know up from down and didn't really care about what was going on between us all. Mark puts his thumbs in my pants and pulls them down, Paul has the front of my shirt undone, and halveway down my arms. It was like the beggining of a soft core pornO_O, right in the backyard, lol thank god the porch light was off bc i remember looking over and seeing the neighbors sitting down and having dinner in one house over and thinking "omg there going to see three halve naked gay guys just going at in the backyard" lol. Things got really heavy, and before i knew it i was topping Paul, and Mark was topping me right there on the back porch.

Had i known all the drama that would come of it, i wouldn't have let progresses to that. Things like this happened for a few weeks, then Paul started getting jealous and i was starting to like Mark. Hung out with Mark more than Paul. Slept a few times together without Paul, while Paul wasn't home, or he would come over to my apartment.

This is where the Not-So-Married-Anymore-Guy comes into play. Scott, met him almost 2 years ago now, started seeing him, he told me that his wife and he were in the middle of getting a divorce, yadda yadda. I stopped seeing him prior to meeting Paul and Mark, ages ago. SO, how he fits in is one day when Paul was in LA, and Mark was busy so i called Scott bc i was...lonely? lol...and things with him hit off again...at this time he was still married, and i was "the other woman" to her lol. Another week or so went by and i was with Scott at the mall, not sure why, but just hanging out. Then Paul call's me and asked if i wanted to come over and play HALO. I told Paul i was with someone, but i'm pretty sure at the time he thought i was just with a friend. Even after telling him "hey, if i do, do you mind if i bring someone" So, Scott and i drove to Paul's to play HALO, and things we're going ok for a little bit.

Hell broke loose when Scott kissed me and asked if i wanted Ice Cream BC coldstone was 2 mins away. It finally clicked in Paul's head that Scott wasn't just a friend, and he looked at me confused and a little shocked. Scott left for ice cream, and Paul looked me dead in the eye and said "what? i wasn't good enough?" Moreso a hurt feeling towards it than angry. We talked about how we never made anything official, and i was in it for the fun. And amazingly, Paul took it as ok and was extremely calm BC at the time he agreed. So, things were going good, and then Mark walks into the house, see's me and jumps into my lap as i'm trying to play video games. It was like a car accident going to happen, and you know it's going to happen, but you can't provent it and you can't look away. Scott comes back and Paul opened the door to unveil Mark with his shirt off on my lap, and scott's face just dumbfounded. Scott walks in, and i swear to god my thoughts we're that he's going to snap and kill all of us right now. But...he didn't.

Scott came to the couch and introduced himself to Mark as he was still on top of me. I tilted my head back and said "hi" very reluctantly. Scott went in for a spider man kiss, and then Mark jumped off of me like lightning. Scott smiled and looked at Mark and said "who's this?" in like a "bom chika wah wah" kinda voice. Introduction's went all around and freakishly no one was angry, no one was hurt, we just sat there and played Halo. WTf right?

Later on that night we started drinking, ordered pizza, played Halo, you know, just hanging out. Things god strange after that, Paul and Mark started making out in the middle of a game, which was a tad frustrating bc we were up a good 3 to win, but then we got owned. Naturally Scott and i started making out, and he took off his pants and said in my ear like it was sexy "i have a problem if you wanna help me with it" LOL! Seriously? FOR REAL? lol, bitch i don't wanna help you through any of yo crazy ass marriage-non-marriage problems. (this was my mind set at the time). He started getting touchy, and my pants came undone. His hand went EVERywhere down there, and i couldn't help but be a little vocal. At which time Paul and Mark took notice..lol. Mark came over and threw his hand down there as well, then they both took my pants/underwear completely off, both started blowing me, it was amazing... Paul came out of no where, i started blowing him...Wow, it just got crazy from there. this person in that person, while doing this to that person and everyone focused on this person and then this person...omg it was hectic. Never thought my first foursome would end up like that O_o. lol

So, all of use had nights like that from then on, i was usually the one to get involved every single time though, even when i wasn't expecting it. I didn't feel dirty, or ashamed...it was fun, and we we're all in agreement that this is what we wanted.

A few week's later, Paul asked me to merry him, and i told him i would think about it. Randomly one night as he and i were watching tv he pulled out and ring, told me he loved me and tried putting the ring on. Fortunatly it was too small, and i told him to raincheck, lol. He was a little hurt from that, i know, but i didn't know who to tell him no. His skiing trip in France came up, and Mark when to LA to see Blake. during the first few days of Paul being gone, something sparked with Scott that sent him on a rampage against Paul. Scott called Paul and told him that i was just using Paul, for this and that, and that i can't stand him. Which is not true, but Scott felt the need to dismiss Paul completely from my life. Paul took it seriously...so he dissapeared for 4 days in france. I thought he may have died bc back at the Cabin, his snowboarding gear was gone and his passports and stuff we're still at the cabin. Nevertheless, Paul showed up after 4 days of hard drinking, and doing drugs with hippies from Italy. I wasn't to happy...with Scott as well BC i had found out the things that Scott said. A that point i stopped talking to Scott competely...even until now.

Paul finally came back and we started fighting about everything. The last night i really spent time with Paul he got violent with me. The argument escallated, and as i was trying to leave he grabbed my arm, and jerked me towards him, i slapped him and left. Abviously it hasn't been the same between us anymore, even though we've made amends. Now, he just stalks me, call's me at 4 am drunk and crying...i can't take it anymore. He followed me home once...its just to much with him.

I continued to see Mark, and hung out and all the good stuff until i met Branden at the laundry mat. But now that i'm not with Branden anymore...i don't know. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him but i don't know if i could do anything else. Things are just way to complicated now...

God, listen to me i sound like i'm wrting a book or something. Lol, sorry i'm blogging about how it is, i've had my good graphic moments, and then complete shit in the past year. Oufda.

As of now, i'm not really seeing anyone...which i think is a good thing bc i need to slow all this crazy shit down. it's getting old, and i'm ready to move on from it. It's been situations like this for the longest time now. Oufda, i think i just wanted to vent, and vent i did. you know, have a but of closure with the past few dramatic things O-o.

anyway...i is done.

(lol, i know this makes it even worse, but there's Janson and Kyle, that i haven't bothered to mention due to the graphic content, lol)

The Gay Republican Cop

I feel the need to report on my relationships bc Oprah never call me back about the big time movie about my life being put into production, lol. I feel as though my life has been taken out of some lifetime movie with all the drama and odd situations i find myself in all the time. The Gay Republican Cop, the Obsessive Wealthy Guy Stalker, The Roommate of the Wealthy guy Stalker, The Not-So-Married-Any-more-guy, and Rain-Check-Fling-Guy, lol.

The Gay Republican Cop:
Originally I had met Branden after he pulled me over for speeding on Clairemont, but let me go with a warning, because i was being cooperative (I'm pretty sure the slutty black shirt i had been wearing had something to do with it too, lol). Few weeks went by, and i had to wash my comforter bc Erin had spilled juice on it; so i took it to the laundry mat where low and behold i find Branden. The idle chit chat about pulling me over, and being a cop, yadda yadda. We hit it off pretty good actually, and i found him interesting so i pulled the cute factor and hooked him good and tight, lol. Originally he said we should hang out and let him convince me that not all cops are bad, and play halo with (yes, the gays do play video games). SO, first night we went to go "hang out" (BC it was pretty much a date), the usual: go out for dinner at Olive Garden, saw a movie (speed racer 'don't ask’), then went for a walk around Carson park afterwards. It was really nice. Nice cool air after a hot day, eventually made our was to one area for parking that looked over Halve moon lake, and trying to ignore the smell i made the most of it and said "wow, it's kind of pretty when you don't think about the smell and sight of rotting water." I'm pretty sure at this point we both know it's not a hang-out-session, because he walked up behind me, placed one of his arms around my waist, other around my chest and kissed the left side of my neck, nice full warm lips that we're so gentle, while proceeding to rest his head on my left shoulder. LOL, it was a great kiss:D Aquard moment went by and we just bursted out laughing because neither one of us knew what to say. I turned around and just smiled at him and the first kiss came...*sigh* great lips...*sigh* great lips. Spent the night together at his house, nothing happened. Watched adultswim (robot chicken, home movies), made out a few times, cuddled, come morning i woke up alone next to a note "help yourself to any juice int he fridge, i'm out to get breakfast" OMG I'VE STRUCK GOLD!!! lol, thought process at the time. He eventually came back, made pancakes, bacon, eggs, hash browns and toast. Amazing cook.

That was the first night spent together. Few days' later another date, saw a movie...although...we didn't make it through. Started making out hardcore in the back of the theater, then he stopped, looked me dead in the eye and said "i want to take you home right now" and i don't think I've ever driven out of the mall parking lot that fast ever O_O. He made it back before i did, like by 5 Min's BC i hit red lights. I walk into the front Door and good god... He was in FULL UNIFORM...Cop fantasy fulfilled right there! Tool belt, night stick, flash light, gun...the whole shebang. Started making out, then it lead to cheesy pick up lines like " is that a gun? or are you just happy to see me" and "wow, that's quite the nightstick you have there." Things didn't really pick up until he was showing me how to use the handcuffs...and I'm not gonna lie he was asking for it. I didn't really know what the hell i was doing with these handcuffs, so it took me 3 Min's to finally have him handcuffed behind his back. Oufda...Obviously he was letting me BC his physical strength was much greater than mine.

I don't think i should get into the graphic details, but point in being i used his nightstick on him in extremely inappropriate ways and had him handcuffed the entire time...as well as a tie, and his shirt never fully came off. lol...After that was done, we dropped all the kinky cop things and just went at it like confined rabbits.

Few weeks went by, everything was going great...until politics came up one day during a conversation with him, and I found out that he's a Republican supporter...it nearly tore me apart BC i had found someone on such an emotional level, and hearing that confused me. Gay...and republican?. It had to end BC i know with myself being an "extreme" Democrate it would have come up at one point or another, and all hell would have broken loose.

So, like all sad ending relationship stories i called my mom crying and told her about everything,a nd how the world wasn't fair. Usual dramatic saying, but not to the point of EMO. Try'd hanging up with my mom but then something had popped into my head and i just burst out laughing. i said to her.

"Mom, i'm willing to sleep with a Married Man and pretty much ruin his marriage, But i will not...see a republican because i have standards damnit!"

She burst out laughing and told me i was a horrible person in a joking manner.

I still talk to Branden on occasion...but it's not the same. Lost whatever we had...sad really, but oh well.

BTW that's not Branden in the photo, i'm not using their actual pictures bc i think they would get mad if i do O_o.

Gays are a little dumb

So, i'm watching this show on truTV called The Real Hustle, and a good 3 out of 5 males that end up getting scammed are gay. This show is really making us look bad. Most people know that us gays like shiny things; in one instance they put on a fake charity raising thing, and then the guy that falls for the scam wins the grand prize and gives away all his info that they would need to rack up 15,000$ in debt and take his entire identity. Two others with a car scam, one with an apartment...DUDE! come on, we're not that dense in the head, we should know when it's a scam or not...bc if it's too good to be true, damn right it is, lol.


still loving living in menomonie. Huge party last weekend. And as it turns out, Allie (awesome party mami cita girl) lives 30 feet kinda kiddie corner from our house...lol, don't have to go far to pass out to party there. Feaster ( everyone call's him his last lame but he's John Feaster), was helping me stand up...and i've always had a little crush on feaster, since i was 14 actually. Soooooo, not being in the right state of mind i just kinda stood there laughing and staying up right with him smiling and his arm around my shoulders. It was nice...and yeah i'll finished later

BITCH ASS HO!!

lol, couldn't think of more of an interesting title. ARgh. So i feel as though my life are something straight out of Hollywood. rich stalking man that wants to merry me, the now-not-so-married man that's in love with me, and the latest edition! The Republican Cop....Wtf?! Seriously!!! I'd like something a little normal for fucken' once! lol.


Here's what i need:
Tall-6-6'2"
Hair-Dark Brown or blonde
Eyes-blue or my color
Physical-Not to picky, someone with the same body type as me
Personality-Outgoing but not rude, positive attitude, funny as hell,
Stable, caring, adventurous, mid-straight acting
Sexual-adventurous, bottom, into extreme crazy german shiza stuff
Job-able to hold his own and have work ethic
LOL! i just read this over and i want someone that's just like me.

And if you were shocked about the german shiza, i'm not into that it just sounded LMAO at the time, lol.

Oufda, back to work:D

Thumpa-Thumpa

LOL, it's actually in the dictionary, looks it ups.

SO, finally moved in. Three Frat houses within 300 feet of my house, we have two roofed porches, as well as a sunroom on the second floor with a balcony. Parkings bit of a bitch though...no garage -_-. Can't complain i'm paying rent that equal's to the amount i usually spend at Macy's in an hour.

really pissed about the Land Rover...the guy i was going to buy it from decided to sell it to someone else for 300$ cheaper than i was paying. His reason is bc i missed one of his call's, so he took it as i wasn't interested. After, i had told him i was approved for the loan and everything and making plans to coming to get it...wtf right?

NOt dating Bradon anymore, nice guy, huuge nightstick, treated me very nicely...reason why? the fucker is republican...no go for me. As ditzy and superficial as i seem i have my standards when it comes to politics. IN fact, this year i'll be canvasing around Eau Claire again for the election and making phone call's and yadda yadda. You know, the crazy people on the side of the street holding up signs? lol, yup, i be one of them.

SHIT, i need to finish something at work...no more update byebye

Stress-almost done

Ok, so for the past few days i've only come to realize that the lease for Chris and Geoff ends next week...lol, franticly trying to find an apartment. Gave the jeep to erin, i dont need it and it's so banged up (X 4 car accidents this year alone) i wouldn't get anything out of it. SO, soon i may be a proud driver of an 2000 Land Rover Discovery series II. Great price too. Mileage won't be a problem bc my co-worker Aimee lives halveway from EC to Menomonie, and i could ride to work with her from her house. SO, 30 miles a day round trip as is opposed to 60, dude i'm so in that.

OUfda, housing shouldn't be a problem anymore either. i have an appointment to look at tow housed tomorrow. A new townhouse for 850$ and 4 bedrooms. Or, and older house (10 years) for 800$ a month, but 6 bedrooms and a three car Garage...It's actually a hard choice bc i do want a new townhouse...and it's only a 2 car garage...which would mean i'd have to fight Jeremy, CLayton, Geoff, and Kyle for a Garage space....i'm leaning towards the cheaper older house now that i think of it. I mean, it's cheapter, closer to the liquir store, block away from the gas station, close to STout...three car garage...hmmm. yeAH

anyway's back to work:D

Chicks Dig me

LOL, no joke dude. Women are seriously falling left and right man. I can't name any names in fear of them finding out, but only recently have i heard on multiple accounts " i wish you were straight" or "why can't you be straight?" lol. I discussed this thing with Chris and the conversation (as stoned off my ass as i was) it made sence. Women, are drawn to things they can't have...that goes for males as well, human nature in itself. Women see more the emotional stand point from my gay self b/c there isn't any pressure to get down and dirty, thus any doubt's about hanging out can happen without the dwindeling thought of "is this a date?" Given also, gay men are usually out spoken, and know what to say at the right moment (like cracking jokes, sexual enuendos).

I mentioned to Chris he should say he's Bi and women would find him more attractive, lol.


Argh, back to work, break is over O_o

SINGIN' WHAOOOOO, WHOAAAAAAWOOOOOOOO

(Weezer-Perfect Situation)

Shit man, i should have been a football player. i think about it now, and i have the right body type, and i could easily build up endurance and body strength. Then eventually make my way up to make Tom Brady mah hubby. lol. I would have to agree with Mark when all i want to do is drop kick giselle bundtchen and steal her man, lol. Or dating JD fortune or something.

Working overtime again -_-. We are extremely behind in our work and we gonna die if it's not compelted.

Check should be ok, close to 900$. Which would be good bc living with two "guys" that dont really know how to cook for themselves...or do laundry...or clean...or wear any clothes when it's hott in the apartment (not that i'm complaining, lol).

Then i can buy extra groceries and cleaning supplies. I suppose it's good practice for when i have kid(s) in a few years.

OUfda, time for work:D

We are indeed still alive

No one seem's to understand the stress i've been going through for a while now. The machine that was able to smash atom's to re-create the big bang. Good god i was freaking out! I had read into it, and tons of well known and established scientists had theories that the machine may actually cause a black hole and implode the earther, thus distroying our universe as we know it. lol. SO, when they ran the experiment today i was happy to still be alive, i almost cried actually...mainly bc i was so far away from my bio family, and there are tons of things i haven't bought yet that i want to get and play with before mah ass goes 6 feet under.

Speaking on the note of death, my sister Bethany wants to be mummified...like, organs taken out and shit like that, and apparently, it's legal in Florida...why Florida? i don't know. One of my mom's (the little mom lesbian) wants to be put out on some hill for animals to pick at so she can be one with Nature (yeah, my family is full of dun gone crazies). For me, i don't know quite yet. I know i have an last will of testimony, since my little sister died and no one knew what to do, and i can't remember for the love of me what the hell i had put down O_o. For Sure, that if it came to life support, i wanted to stay on life support for at least 10 months...then i'm not sure what happen's after that O_o.

Working at United Health Care is great...but i'm having issues working. We Migrated a huge universal system this week, and all our old system for processing things are now outdated, and can only be used as reference tools for the new system...and well, the new system is crap, there are tons of gliches and issues...it blows.

I just feel so...left out-type feeling. I'm spending the last few months of my teenage years in this coffin cube. And once i turn 20, the few things i have to look foreward too is turning 21, kids, house, speedboat, retirement, and then death. (argh)

I hope Kyle and Jeremy are at my apartment tonight, i don't want to be sober, lol.

No Audi for me

Talked financial details with the mommies and apparently the way i spend money, and frivilous shopping exceeds my spending limit, if that made any sence? Point in being i'm spending more than i'm making (Perry Ellis spending for the past month 400$, CK-150$, entertainment-500$ rent-445$, gas...not that much since i'm carpooling right now and haven't really touched the SUV-80$) And there's no room for carpayment, lol. i supposed i could lay off buying clothes for a while, and take down the entertainment budget (it's only that high bc i'm usually the one to pay for dinners/movies/groceries/booze/other addictive things). I suppose i should stop that O-o.

*sigh* and at the same time I’m actually getting really sick of it all. I’m not getting anywhere, with as much as I’m spending on other things like rent; I could be buying a house, or a really fucken expensive car, lol. I need to change my habits...fo real this time. Not buy designer...buy groceries instead of eating out all the time...actually washing clothes, instead of just buying more to replace the old ones, no more random trips to the cities at 3 am and blow tons of money on random things, not pay for everyone for everything. *sigh*

Love life-hehehe, college students moved back, I’ve been gettin' laid so much...i don't even want it anymore, lol. slutty move, but 2 different guys in less than 12 hours, lol. Yeah, go me. Hookups from last year that i can do such acts with, with no oddness afterwards, Like a handshake in gay world.
Paul is stalking me still -_-. Sadly Mark is visiting his family and helping his dad with something in Albany. Hung out with Ryan twice, and occasionally play halo3 together online. He's pretty cool, another gay guy I can actually stand, without the wanting to get into his pants, bc surprisingly I don’t O_o. He's really attractive actually, but I don’t see him that way so it's a good thing, lol.

Still kicken it

So, whats new:

Not talking to Paul anymore (still fooling around with his roommate Mark, shady yes but i gots needs)
Moved Back to Menomonie (living with Chris and Geoff is fucking hilarious)
I have to take insulin now, and take tons of medication after last week's extreme hospital visit (it blows)
Planning on buy this awesome Audi A4, white, and fully loaded (bye bye hippy killing SUV)
Lost the Blackberry around my new apartment, not sure where it went O_0. OMG why i didn't move in with Geoff and Chris earlier, holy shit the apartment is HUUUGe. my last apartment was large, but their is just fucked up large. My bed was moved into Chris's room (until he moves out and then the room is mine), but we both have king sized beds, and we still have TONS of room in the one bedroom and a huge walk in closet. in the living room we have all the gaming systems set up with three tv's going Simitamulously, beer pong (actually it's a ping pong table) in the basement. It's great.

I think that's about it. OH WAIT! GREAT NEWS! My bio-grandmother is having Heart problems and may die soon, SO in theory i may be getting a shit load of money sometime soon, or maybe a car...hehehe(evily).

Still Kickin'

Oufda, whats new O_o. Nothing. working a lot of overtime lately, past three weeks 12 halve hours a day, five days a week...i'm tired. Good though, my check this week is 1344.45$, would have closer if taxes hadn't taken so much out -_-. Bastards -_-

lol, broke my laptop screen with an airsoft gun, another reason why posting has been declined. lol. Geoff and i are becoming stoners, not gonna lie, lol. good portion of the weekend are spend gimping out playing video games and eating tons of food, lol.

possibly new car, tired of driving the SUV. So, i'm looking at an Honda Accord Coupe EX, it's alright, and its cute.

Geoff, Chris, Clayton, Jeremy are going to go skydiving next week...translation, my friends could possibly all die soon. lol.

um...yeah, thats all :D

Rants

Soooo...Karlyn moved into this huge 7 bedroom house with people that i hate with a passion, and vise-versa and it frustrate's me to no end. Lets look at this situation, i can't hang out with her anymore bc she with those fuckers all the time, and social event she tries to drag me along knowing that these people see me as shit in their eyes. it's also frustrating to the fact that she's only known these people for a good 3 months? tops...i've offered her to stay at my apartment pretty much free of charge, in the city where she's going to school, she's high up in the company that we work for (Carlson), and could easily be transfered. Its just bull. I'm losing my best friend to fuckers that hate me and it's frustrating. AAAAAAHHHHADF:ASJ FASdfjasdfjasd tasfj AWDF?SDJFAS!@#$!@#$!#$r@#$


just thinking about the whole thing really pisses me off...

i know it's selfish of me to say, but maybe karlyn and chris shouldn't have broken up...or something, bc with all the shit that both of them have put me through bc of it...URGGADFADF AJK...for months now i've been dealing with Chris's fucking emo ass saying "why did she leave me after sooo long" then 5 minutes later freaking out and calling her a slut and that he wants to kill her and take himself out as well, and then 20 mins later want her back and wonder why she left him...it's bullshit. And Karlyn...well, i am happy she moved on fast...but then she slept with...a few guys in less than two weeks of it ending. But now, i can't fucking hang out with her at ALL. she's with those fucking people who treated me like shit in high school bc i had dark skin and i'm a gay. It's fucking insulting to me for her to ask me to hang out with them, or get to know them bc they're not bad people. FUCK THAT. i confronted her about it before, and she said the whole situation made her sick...And now she's moving in with Halve of them...

i'm just fucking pissed and i dont want to talk to either one of them right now.


wow i'm really frustrated and i need a smoke, BAD.

TorchWood

IS AN AMAZING FUCKEN SHOW YO! It's a welsch tv series that have to do with Aliens and modern type issues, and it's fucking awesome and funny. But, the best part about the whole fucking thing is that the main Character is a flamming oMo Yo! lol...and he's fiine...suupa fine. He's really super attractive in my mind.

You know what i've just realized? I'm talking like a crazy hormonal teenager who so engulfed in their teeny-bopperness they dont even notice O_O. Eek.

*sigh* he's so dreamy.... (dies)

Shut your fucking face uncle fuckaaaa

LOL, this song always puts a smile on my face as screwed up as it is, lol.

oufda...long few days.

Chris is developing a large drinking problem...and he spilt beer on my laptop and laughed about it last night, without a single mention of replacing it, all he could fucking say was "oooh yeah, it was amy's fault she spilt the beer" bear in mind it was Chris who aimlessly pushed her into the beer in the first place, so technically i need to hold both of them responsible. URGE! just thinking about how fucking annoying he is, is getting on my nerve's. He really needs to be commited...or something bc this is getting out of hand.

SO, not really thinking about Paul...la la la la. OH, speaking of guy, i think i met one:D Very nice guy, didn't say a lot to him but we did that eye thing, and then looking away and smiling, and not really rememebering what we we're doing. lol, i was paying my rent at the owner-people's place. It was really patheic actually, the only thing that he and i had even briefly talked about was gas prices and driving behind semi's is a great way to save gas, and it is dude!

Fucking, my hippy killing SUV gets 16mpg on highway (mainly bc i'm going 85) BUT! the computer said 16.6 mpg, and immediatly getting behind the semi it shot up to 36.4MPG!!!! DUDE! that's an extra 20mpg:D

Sadly i didn't get his name or anything, but i know i have to go there once a month, lol.

*i kisses a boy and i liked i it...lol

He ran into my knife ten times

Pauls fine, lots of drama, and i'm going to kill him when he gets back to america. Thus the running into my knife ten times. Not going into details, but it's bad...

*sigh* i need to relax...this weekend, the beach, corona, bbq, and swimming, waiting for it...hmmm, i want it to be saturday -_-

Distressed and freaking out

Paul's been missing since monday morning. And no one can find him. his credit cards, passport, are still at the cabin, and his snowboarding gear is gone as well as his board. It's like 11:30pm there or something and they've had a search party going on since this morning there time. REbecca called me at work last night to ask me if i had heard from him at all, and had me check his facebook since i know his mail and password. Nothing...he's just gone and i feel utterly helpless with the fact that i can't do shit about anything right now. Though, i do have hope bc the major ski lifts have been down since it's the summer and low valley skiing/snowboarding is the only mountain activity allowed at this time. It's either he's deads somewhere, or he's going to be if he just hasn't told anyone where the fuck he is and i get to him.



*sigh* i dont know what the fuck to do

You say Potato, i say Vodka

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what if god smoked cannabiS?

lol, sorry it was on my mind O_o. Erin is in Menomonie for a few days and i'm stuck here in Eau Claire all alone and bored. And, as much as i hate to say it i can't afford to spend 70$ worth of gas every 5 days in my car. My hippy killing SUV is starting to take it's toll on me O_o.

And i really don't have anything else to rant on about...OH, hey, Paul sent me a really cute pictuire of him and i'll post it for funs:D i call it deer in headlights

Minneapolis Pride, AWESOME

oh yeh, this year has totally been the best year EVER! We actually took the time to look at the attractions and shop, and really enjoy the Parade, even though it seemed shorter than other years. But, never the less aweosome in many ways:D Saw only 1 ex, hit on a lot, had my ass grabbed twice. good times:D

Stopped at MOA afterwards, bought another Roberto Cavali shirt of which i am wearing a the moment, its purdy.

my poor friend Nate was being cool on his BMX bike at pride, and did some backflip 360 that went totally wrong and he fucked up his face and arms pretty bad o_o.

Yesterday i had PTO and just relaxed. it was nice:D and then around 1 am last night i get this call from Jeremy and Chris telling me that they found this gay guy that's totally my type and hand me the phone. You know, small chit chat for a while and he left his business card with Chris to give to me and he'd email me at some point. Then a little while later i'm still on the phone with Jeremy and i can hear this guy in the background and it's the guy i was talking to (oh his name is Matt btw) and i hear him say "Hey, ask him if he know's Gustavo Best" i overheard it and i yelled into the phone "yes i know that back stabbing fucker!" and jeremy starts laughing and apparently Matt heard me to bc he was laughing too.Then i heard Matt say something like he's had sex with Gus three times today already, even though they are broken up and yadda yadda. And i'm on the phone just thinking "wow, this guys is just as sleazy as Gus" and then i think to myself...wait, i really shouldn't judge someone just bc of the people they fuck with or hang around with. *sigh* so, i suppose i'd give the guy a chance, or whatever O_o.

Some guy gave me his number as well when i was walking across the loring bridge in minneapolis. odd, though brave and cute, he just walked up to me and said "i think your really attractive, take my number" lol. i love people in minneapolis...i want to move there after this weekend:D

Translation, i either need to win the lottery, or marry paul and divorce/kill him for a large sum of monays. LOL. wow now i'm starting to sounds like mah momma. lol. jk, i wouldn't actually divorce Paul >:D

Speaking of such things, you get a lot more attention when you wear a wedding band...lol...no further comment at this time.

Sleep Deprived

I've had 1.4 hours of sleep in the past 24 hours, and i'm draggin soo bad. Had Dinner with a co-worker last night @ 1 am, drove to menomonie, took care of Kasey bc he was having Asthma problems, and it turns out that i left my company issued credit card in eau claire so when i called in an albuterol inhalor, i couldn't get it b/c of that. Kasey should be ok until tomorrow morning when i can pick it up.

I stayed up with Chris, Kasey Geoff and Stan until about 10:40, and then Erin woke me up at 11:09 to drive back to eau claire from menomonie. Got back, felt extremely sick, started throwing up, and then blood started coming out from my mouth. Freaked out, called my mom, she told me to go to Urgent Care...i didn't, lol. I was soo tired driving and bleeding at the mouth certainly help. SO, i napped for about an hour and a halve. Got dressed and came to work. Eventful i know.

Pahoua will be in the cities during Pride so i'm stoked to hang around 100's of thousands of gays with her, should be Awesome.

Right now i feel weak, and shaky, mainly due to lack of sleep. Urg....

Anyhoo, break is almost over :(

Perfect Ass Guy lol

I don't actually remember his name, but he works in a different department for our company, and i can't help but sneak moments of sexual harrasment towards this man. i just can't help but look...he has the utmost perfect i've ever seen in jeans.

It does blow though, i'm pretty sure he has a b/f and isn't on the market as far as i know. LOL, and i'm not about to go into home wrecker mod, like i did with Scott....wow, that turned out for the worst O_O.

Although, i did have my highschool moment at my cube last week. I had driven my SUV to work, and left the windows down in the parking lot. Apparently he parked next to me, and had noticed that the windows we're down. nicole and Nichole we're standing by my desk, and then he walked over, both nicoles just looked at me and smiled bc they knew i had a tad of a crush on this guy. Anyhoo, he walked over smiling and my heart just jumped (highschool moment) and it's sad bc the only exchange of words between us had been "hey, i parked next to you and your windows are down" i replied" oh, ok Thanks (big smile)" i think he said "no problem" or "your welcome" one or the other. And they he jumped into my lap and we went at it right then and there in the office...lol, or at least it played that way in my mind, lol.

*sigh* sadly no, he walked away, and i just smiled, it totally made my day that day.

Talked to Paul from his parents satelite phone last night, France is awesome apparently and he went White water Rafting or something O_o. He also mentioned that he met this really hott italian guy in a Sauna, and he didn't sleep with him....wtf? oh yeah, bc Pauls in love with me and he must bring up the fact that he loves me everytime we talk, and mention something about how much he loves me...urg! lol...but i think about it overall and i think i need to stop seeing Paul at some point bc it's gotten to far past "pillow buddies" to continue...SO, that's going to go over well.

Minneapolis Pride is coming up, and i think i've maxed out my anticipation towards it. i think its going to be awesome and amazing...but it's going to be like the other years. Hott, expensive water (and i dont think 30$ pairs of underwear aren't expensive), 100's of thousands halve naked extremely well in shape gays around..nothing really new.

Although...i have to wonder if i might see John. John was my old youth leader at this GLBT club called Q2 back in 2003. And i thought at that time, and still do, that he is the most beautiful person i've ever met. Very good looking, Charming, Heart of Gold. he's the only guy since 13 (year i lost it and started sleeping with other men), that i've always felt something for. Even through my different relationships, if i thought about him i would feel the same way as i did wghen i first met him. Given, he was 25 when i was 13, and no waay did we ever do anything. But i'm 19 now, and wow he must be 31 now O_o. Still, given how i've felt about him for these years i'm positive that age wouldn't be a problem. *sigh* i did see him one year, probably 5 years ago i first saw him...yeah....


Anyhoo, suppose i should get back to work since mah break is ova. Laters

Damage Control

So, i've been going to Menomonie almost everynight for the past few days...it's been interesting. Mainly hanging out with Chris and Kasey. And to be honest it makes me a little jealous having KAsey there. Chris hasn't seen Kasey in a year or so, but since then i've become really good friends with Chris. Now that Kasey's back i feel a tad shunned. And it makes things aquard since Kasey is actually in love with Chris...like, love love. He's straight ( i think) but he really does love Chris with all his heart, and Chris is just flat out straight -_-. It makes for a good tv drama, lol.

Well, back to slaving away -_-

Sleepy

sleep deprivation suxs assness...in the bad way.

Although, with the sleep/dreams that you have tend to be much more interested bc your mind falls into the REM sleep cycle faster; thus making it easier to remember/control your dreams for your brain isn't used to shutting down so quickly, parts remain active and take longer to shut down like any other night. I find the human brain extrodinary:D

Anyhooz, drank a lot this weekend...really high too O_O. SO worth it though, and i did relax on saturday at the beach. hmmm, soft warm breeze, uv rays, sand, the sound of water, i loves it.

Minneapolis Pride is in a few weeks, totally stoked! and then again not...it's different in gay world bc you gotta look damn fine since there's going to be close to a few hundred thousand gays...lotsa gays O_O.

oufda, well yeah...

Genetically Modified Pets

Flat out...i need one, lol. They we're made available last year by this company in California. They we're able to modify Cats to be non-allergetic. Which would cure my issues:D
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/10/27/biotechnology.cats/index.html



Plainly not going to France, today at UHG they had a mad layoff with 300 within our coorperation; they say it's b/c of not enough business staying with our coorperation, and to many employee's with the amount of work load...So, it's competely bullshit, and they're laying off high salary people/crappy processors to save a tad but of money since our stock isn't doing so well, and the economy is going to shit.

huge emergency meeting called today to tell us that, and that tons of people had been let go. It scared me shitless i'm not gonna lie, but at the same time, they let go of people that really needed this job. A Pregnant woman who's about to pop who already has 4 kids, and another with health problems. It's just bullshit...all of it...

And i can't help but feel guilty that these people who are in dire need of this job, and then there's me, 19 with no major financial problems, no kids, no car payments...nothing, i just have this job for shits and giggles. (ok, maybe not, i make a ton of money health benifits, retirement, and 401K). So i am extremely grateful i still have a job...but at the same time i just feel like i don't belong.....i dunno...


Maybe i should just un-happily merry Paul and be the stay at home wife with the credit cards, cars, and kids -_-

SHIT NO! i sound like my bio mother...not gonna be her, nvm...

Going to France?

So, Paul called me and left me a voicemail asking me if i we're interested in going to France with him for 3 weeks on a Skiing trip with his family. Rebecca (Pauls sister) is already there, and his parents would be arriving about the time we would get there. Plainly i dont want to go.

Reason one-i'd have to take time off work for this trip and my PTO hasn't been in the positive for a while now.
Reason two-i don't have a passport, and it would take three months to get anyway.
Reason Three-he may try to ask me to merry him...on the top of a mountian, with his family...in France...O_O.

I can't get away if i had said no, his fam-damly would ditch me in France and i'd be FUCKED.

OH! Fourth reason-i don't speak French, whereas Paul and Rebecca are fluent in Dutch ( i think that was it) and French, lol.

I'm stressed about the whole thing, and dont' want to deal with it o-o.

But, i have to deal with it, and by dealing with it, i'm going to have to figure out how to let Paul down lightly this time. B/c i do really like him as a friend (and the occasional lay...or threesome, and as of the past two times i've seen him the foursome, lol).

I know i joked about merrying extremely well off men, and now that it actually came into play...i want nothing but to run away and hate myself for even saying such a thing...fucking stab of irony.


Lol, and it doesn't help that everyone i've talked to about it doesn't see the point of not-going.

argh...

Enraged At Police Officers

Personally I’ve never been involved with Police officers; thank god I’ve always gotten off the hook with them. But, as a daily routine of watching MSNBC news while i'm supposed to be working something struck my full attention and i wanted to fucking go kill a cop. Onboard police cams showing extreme police brutality, and then the sentances of these police officers is FUCKING MINIMAL. three Days suspensions, Stress managment classes, THESE FUCKING MEN PUT CHILDREN'S LIVE'S AT STAKE AND THIS IS THE SIMPLE SHIT THEY ARE PUNISH WITH? FUCK THAT.

i fucking hate cops, nothing but armed guards ready to fucking take out anyone that steps out of line, fucking hate them.

I dont' get straight men/wow i've been really drunk this weekend

So, the reason for the title, is that....multiple times this weekend i've had "straight guys" hitting on me, putting their arms around my shoulder, lighting my cigarettes, asking me if i want a back massage, offering to buy me dinner. WTf is with all this shit?@?@! One right after a fucking-nother. Although, Clayton was really sweet, and cute...ARGh..yeah. Jeremy was drunk halve the time, but still. Claytons little brother was the one who asked me if i wanted a massage bc he saw me crack my neck while playing HALO. The problem is, he's been giving me these "eyes" for weeks now, and brings up gay sex almost every conversation we have. He's actually really attractive and jockey, but one problem, he's 15, LMFAO. given i'm only 19 but still, that's just...wrong. Like, i can see myself with older guys yeah, but someone younger than me? no... not so much.

SO schedual for this past weekend. friday night, Chris's house, drunk, passed out. Saturday night, worked until 11, hit up Dan's Party (Gus's Hags we're there and i swear they wanted to kill me), Hung out with Karlyn and got to know Spencer and Adam Argo (everyone's fantasy for Menomonie high school Graduating classes 05, 06, 07, and 08 This boy is fiiiiine as hell and wanted by EVERYONE, he's the man of mans-man man mans). lol, i'm outside having a smoke with Spencer (he says he's straight, but just looking at him contradicts that, OH, and he kept hitting on me and suggesting we get a hotel room, wtf>). I go back inside and i just see a slight glimpse of Karlyn head into the bathroom and i see Agam Argo go in after her. lol. 3 mins later Dan comes to me and says "Where's Karlyn, is she in the bathroom?" i said "yes" he just looked at me funny and said "your not telling me something...*i shrugged*...hey, were's Argo?" i wasn't gonna lie to the bastard "in the bathroom, and if your going to ask me if they're using the bathroom for what it was intended for, that i don't know" LOL, his face goes beat red and he freaked out (one, its his new house, two Karlyns is his little sister). Yeah, definatly saw buldging argo's penis through jeans, lol. Karlyn layed him later that night. And i gots ze details and apparently he's great in the sack, lol.

Oh, after Dan's party i went to Chris's and got really baked, lol. i actually thought that was was being passed around was a cheat cigar or swisher sweet...no, it was a HUGE blunt. lol. Got baked, passed out.

Last night, got off work @ 11 headed over to Chris's he turned 21 @ midnight, i was the sober driver...until we got back, lol. Drank and drank and drank. then like crazy XXXXXXX german porn we (we being clayton, jeremy, kinda chris, and Ian) all kinda fool around, and then we tie up Chris and whip him since it's his b-day, lol. Drunk and atemting to fool around doesn't work out so well, lol.

Played vodka pong afterwards...and after that i dont even remember getting into Geoff's bed and passing out. I woke up @ 1:14 today, and i was supposed to be in EC at 1 so i can meet the movers for my new furniture, lol. didn't happen, i was late as hell...and then i came to work and i'm fucking hung over like a mo fo.

ERgh, lol. but it was fun:D

Speaking of which Mark just sent me a text and i think i know whats going on tonight >:D

oooh yeah:D

WtF>?

Stressfull days here at UHG...bout' ready to jump off a fucking bridge.
Work Sucks.


Sex is getting more interesting the more i push away Paul
Sex is Good

I can't stand how much i'm going to be paying for gas if it reaches 5$ a gallon.
Gas Prices Suck

I'm going Back home this weekend and i'll see Liss for the first time in a year :D
Friends are awesome

Perfect ass man winked at me the other day on break and i almost grabbed him and ran for the mothers room, lol.
Not getting what you want sucks

Hopefully i'm getting my cat this weekend, they were born a few weeks ago, pretty white cat with blue eyes, and his name with be "chyen Chyen" i think it's chinese for Money:D
Pets are awesome

Yeah, my rant is done...

Tip Top Taps

SO, i needed more illegally downloaded music so i drove all the way to menomonie last night and spent the night @ Chris's. Played Halo, watched some eureka 7, downloaded music. Oh yeah.

But, then you think about it i'm in front of a screen for most of my week. Go to work, sit in front of the computer all day, go home, play on my laptop, or watch a movie, or play video games. When i'm in the car....yeah there to, i have my dashboard computer, and then i usually bring my laptop and integrate it into the car so i can play music of my itunes while i drive since my Ipod is totally SOL and broken (250$ down the drain).

oh hey! speaking of which i got a new blackberry today. (cellphone 3 for this year). Which is another screen i usually look at while with friends and texting at social gatherings. lol.


its the need to be connected and with it, that's causing my addiction -_-

Weekend Madness!

So...i love my guys friends, really i do. But, when three of them proposition you to blow them randomly when watching family guy freaks me out a little bit. Given, these guys are "straight" but not only that, two of them have g/f. Wtf?!. i Humbley declined, although i had me second thoughts on one, Clayton. bom chicka Wa Wa! Totally my type, Cute, tall, Man-Buff, and amazing lips, lol. No bootay for me.

One thing that really urked me though; i was extremely drunk at one point, and had passed out in Chris's bed. Maybe an hour or two later i wake up High and drunk off my ass. i look over and Geoff, Clayton, Kyle, and Chris are all toking up a LOT of weed. Enclosed space, lots of pot, contact high. No so pleased. But then again at the time i didn't really care b/c i was dunk and high without my consent. So i'm just laying there watching the TV and it's infomercials and i remember just laughing nonstop, no joke. NONSTOP. my abs hurt like a mo fo. Somehow Clayton ended up on top of me and we made out for a while...it was nice, very nice. Soft Lips. Hand placed softly left on my face, fan was on so it felt like we we're on the beach since the room temp was easily 98degrees. light tonguem kissed my neck and breathed on my ear. Clayton is a DAmn Fine kisser. Nothing happened, and it ended ubruptly when Geoff pushed Clayton off jumped off me and said right in my face "DUDE I GOT THE MUNCHIES LETS TO SO SA!!!"


lol...Now, i remember walking down the stairs, and then i'm sitting in the car, next thing i know i'm standing in front of the donut case looking at donuts. Then out of no where, some really drunk guy comes up to me, gives me the eyes, and ask's what i'm into. (WTf?). I gave him this puzzled look, and then he slurred saying "oooh nnvm man, i was meaning what kind of donut you like" then he had the nerve to put his arm around my shoulder. He wasn't that bad looking...for someone who's like 38. Chris came grabbed me a donut, pushed the fucker off me and escorted me to the Nachos, lol. Got back to Chris's highly made pizza bites, ate them, played halo, passed the fuck out.

Nothing to interesting the next day. Had a few drinks, played halo and Napped. it was Nice:D

Btw i'm getting pretty good @ Halo so watch out.

Army Boys Sex And Guns

SO, Mark took a corner to fast last night, slightly hit a fire hydrant then slid into a pole, lol. Raining, bald tires=boom. SO, Jenna's bd was last night:D Ben B, Larse, Kyle S, Erin, Jenna, Stacie, Karlyn and me, party party party! it was fun as hell too. Ben had tons of semi-automatic weapons in his car, as well as long range rifles...we had fun, and amazingly no one got shot, or noticible holes in my apartment, lol. My fav was the M16...hmm, pretty. Although, it was odd knowing that these weapons had actually been used in killing someone. (Ben's in special forces, Jenna's Airforce, Larse is Military). And, as i type Karlyn is with Ben at the Gun range letting a few off. lol.

White people....ton of beer...weapons of mass distruction, yeah it made for a good night.

Sex-Mark and Paul...lol, i know i wasn't going to sleep with Paul anymore, but it just kinda happened as Mark and i were busy. not going into details though. lol. Well, one-back porch and rain, lol.

I really need to switch out the music on my Blackberry, this shit is getting old -_-. "duuurty babe, you see these shackles baby i'm your slave, i'll let you whip me if i misbehave" lol, this is an old song.

Tonight-All the girls are going to club in the cities and getting a hotel, i'm going to Claytons party and hopefully Gus won't be there. Two power gays at one party isn't a good thing. Buuut, i have the advantage bc people like me a little better. lol, i'm not the one to hit on people and attempt to seduce them, whereas Gus tried getting anything with two or more legs in the sack. Oh, and it has to have a penis...lol. he's sick...really. i feel really bad for him though, be after sleeping with so many guys without condoms who knows what he has o_o....eew...


Ergh, time for work, yay?

Drunk Weekend

SO, from what i can remember from this past weekend, it's been pretty fun. Beer Pong (accept i don't drink beer so i played with liquer so i got fucked up real goot real fast), Halo, Testosterone, Beating Eachother up Randomly, getting really contact high and non-stop laughing for 2 hours....it's been fun.

I met Randy's Gf Mckenzie as well. Awesome girl, fun, caring, sweet, party animal, makes homemade potpies from scratch and damn they be good eatin' son. I've made plan's on kidnapping that girl and making her my slave cook. Slighty aquard seeing Randy...last time i saw him, i had sex with him on the very kitchen floor we we're both standing on. But still, fun:D.

Randy introduced me into this video that fucking changed my life forever... it's something called "bmepainolympics" or something? But, point in being it's the most sickest video i've ever seen online in my fucking life. First, its just some guy tying up his balls/dick and letting them turn blue, and at first i was like "oh, ok thats sick why am i watching this?" And then, the guy brings out a cutting board and put it under his scrotum. Not realizing what was about to happen next, the guy just whip's out this fucking meat cleaver and tries cutting his fucking balls off. blood, everywhere, tissue ripping being cut. And then he finally cuts testicles and everything off. i'm about to fucking hurl but i can't look away from the screen. Then he chops his dick off and i couldn't take it anymore and just walked away. i feel the need to apologize to my laptop for playing such a fucked up thing on it. Omg, it was bad...just bad....god i feel sick now.

Um...other details about this weekend. Hardly Ate, mostly drank. Although, i did have a packet of Ramen like 2 days ago, lol. May have done a few things with Ian. Clayton i'm pretty sure is Gay, or at least Bi. He offered to rub my shoulders while i was playing Halo, and he got really close to me a few times as i was just sitting there. I'm not going to complain, i was flattered, lol.

Got really high with Dan (karlyns older brother) the first night as everyone was passed out. hmm, he damn fiine. And he drive's a 3000GT...orgasm on wheels. Things have been weird between me and him since that one night @ my apartment when everyone spend the night, and he did that things with his hand, and gave me that look...lol. yeah...bom chicka wah wah. Paul won't stop calling me, sober lately thank god. As funny as the first drunken phone call with him saying "WHHHYY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?!" just answering the phone is a neucense with him.

ARgh...yeah, that's been my holiday weekend:D

Army Boys And Fast Cars

yeah last night was a good night. Rob had his shirt off all night...Army guy. (hot). muscles, and smooth. orgasm walking around, lol. Larse was freaking out about making a small rip in his jeans...i swear he bitches more about fucking up clothing then me. Karlyn, Jenna, Sama and Erin, all drunk and i'm the only sober one. SO, given around 1am i get a call from Mark (booty call), and i couldn't have said no, he's the replica of a Ken Doll...plus the penis. So, seeing as it was fairly warm and not to freezing, i took the convertible....bad idea. Fucking my Gucci sweater went flying out the back on clairemont! SO, some lucky bastard has my Gucci Sweater.
Got to Marks (btw i know this seems extremely shady of me, but Mark is Pauls roomate -_-, lol. but seeing as Paul and i were never together, and he was in Madison at the time it didn't count....riight? lol...dunno. Anyhoo. Wow when i got there it was overwhelming.
i walked into the front door, lights were off candles had been lite, he slams me into the door holds my hands forcefully over my head and feircly kisses me...DA
I may have a slight hickey on my shoulder. but damn it was hot. after making out with me for a few minutes he just bolts his hand into my pants and starts jerking me. Talented he is indeed. Jerking me, nipple play, and holding my hands above my head at the same time. Still on the front door he licked lower and lower, all out deepthroating. I could feel the head of my cock bending into the back of his throat, warm and moist.

needless to say that's how i came the first time. After letting loose, we make out more and then he guides me to the couch, will in my jeans and tee he pulls off my pants like a mad man throws up my legs and goes to TOWN! amazing rimjob/fingering action. goes at it for about 10 mins before saying "michael fuck me, right now" without time to think he jumps on me and starts riding me. Now, this was fucking hot bc of his pecks, 6 pack and ken doll muscle side bone things, glimmering in the candle lite room. i'm jerkin him, he's riding me more feirce with every second. i'm getting close again and he shouts at me "cum in my ass i'm going to cum" i could feel my cock ready to explode. i let loose in his ass and kept going, messy but hott. "I'm going to cum" he said in this quivering voice, i pull out wrap my lips around his cock and he came. huge load. and he falls over, instinctivly i start licking his nipples with dripping cum out of my mouth. And then we just sat there for abotu 10 mins not saying anything, nothing but heavy panting and coming down from sex high.

Yeah...it was much better sex with him then it was with Paul. Paul, i can only describe was "dead fish" that had to be told what to do during. Mark, know's what he was doing and he does it well. Almost to my relief my phone goes off and it's Karlyn. lol. i answer the phone and say "hey, i'm busy fucking Mark i'll all you back (click)" lol. it didn't even feel aqward talking to him afterwards. Nothing really important, i asked him what the sudden urgency was when i walked into the door. He replied with "i've been watching porn al day and i was wanting you"


AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW, how sweet and caring, lol.


Yes, so driving back to the party was a little hard O_o. Sex high-ness.

Got back to the party everyone started laughing at me. Rob, had his shirt off again, and kept asking me "did you take it? or ddi you give it? i'd answered him 4 times before he finally got it. then the kept grabbing my ass and pinching my nipples, and at one point he grabs my hips from behind and started dry humping me, lol. extremely odd since his g/f was standing right next to me. i have to wonder though, he kept making these eyes at me while standing behind Sam his g/f. They we're the drunk slutty eyes you get when you wanna make a pass at someone, lol.

Left the party with Karlyn in the convertible, she wasn't feeling very well and wanted to crash. LOL, so as a wake up method we had the smart idea of trying to top out the convertible. we got to 135mph on hwy53 to the mall, lol. It was fun:D

um, bought pizza, went back to my apartment pigged out, Jenna, Larse and Erin Eventually got here, we all talked and watched Stick it, and then finally passed out. *sigh* and that has been the past 18 hours folks....*sigh* and tonight (repeat) muahaha

Marriage

I think Pauls going to ask me to Merry him...and the delema i'm having is that i'm not in love with him. For the first time ever last night, he told me he loved me after we kissed and made out for an hour. I really didn't know how to repond...he layed his head on my chest and held my hand. Minutes past and he reached into his pocket and showed me a ring. He didn't say though "will you merry me" he said "will this fit?" and put it on my ring finger...needless to say it didn't fit and it was to small. trying to break the tension i replyed with "ooh, too bad" and laughed nervously. He laughed to, although i think i hurt him.

We never did sleep together last night, it was to much emotion and confusion being thrown around. I called my mom and she thought the situation was fucked up, and tried cheering me up by saying "well son, you alwasy said that you'd merry rich!" lol, loving mother. i know she was joking, but it hit a little deep. yes, for years i've been joking around about getting divorces and marrying for money. But, this whole situation happened. Paul is rather wealthy, esp with his parents Real Estate in London and apparently California as well.

"two AM and she calls me because i'm still awake, can you help me unravle my latest mistake, i dont love him"
-Anna Nalick

Paul Kensington

Good lay most of the time. I've been seeing Paul for just over a year now? like usual, we started out as friends, and then like most gay relationship/booty calls, one drunken night it got pretty heavy and i ended up having sex with him on his kitched counter while halve him roomates we're passed out in the joining living room. lol, adventurous i know.

He thinks of us as together, reguardless if i tell him we are not. I'm not sure what to do O_o.



Ergh...this whole adult life thing blows -_-

Drunken Rage

Saw someone most hated this weekend at at party. Needless to say we got into a fight, and i won. lol.
Chris and Karlyn are not together anymore....and i'm caught in the middle hearing eachothers stories over and over. different sides everytime, different outcomes of certain events....just weird. And hard bc i love them both O_o.

and i dunno O_o. Can't wait to get paid on friday. TOTALLY spending it all on things i dont need and valleyfair, lol. yay for three paychecks a month :D

yay for 63,000$ Cars

Summary of last night:

Drunken Waterstreet, parking on someone's doorstep 3 inches away from the actual door, street racing eclipse vs mercedes slk 500, rebound guy, 85 in a 35, that guys name actually is Brandon, Asshole rent-a-cops.

*sigh* now, this morning:
sleeping for 2 hours, perkins, starbucks, car shopping, carwash, Mall, shopping, Driving like idiot teenagers with the top down, 20 mins nap before work at 3 for an 8 1/2 hour shift.

After work/weekend plans/summary:
Get to chris'c ASAP, DRINK!, DRINK! sleep, eat, iron man, DRINK, DRINK, Drink, drink, pass out, stay passed out...and thats' as far as i gots O_o

Get It By Your Hands

obsessive about this song much? lol. This song is from Eureka7. It's Trance, and it's just....addictive. I Can't Stop listening to it.

Rebecca asked me the other night (i'm trying to hook up rebecca and Dan) and the phonecall went like this:

R-HEY is Dan bi?
M-No, not as i know although he does dress really gay sometimes, and he looks really gay.
R-DamN!
m-why do you say damn?
R-Because i want a man who's willing to play with other men...and me at the same time
M-oh dear
R- (heavy sigh) i guess we don't live in a perfect world where all the men are bi, it's a shame
M-well see, i think thats' only america. In england it's the Norm
R-HEY! thats the difference! i need to start an england society-basis-thing here!!!
M-oh dear


YAY for tax returns:D

Dangers Of Driving

Headed back to Menomonie this morning, i was attempting to pass a school bus, and became frustrated/worried. Mainly because, one this school bus was going 85mph, secondly the roads weren't the greatest bc of the rain, and thirdly the bus was full of what appeared to be elementry or early middle school children. Translation, my kids are never going to be using public school transportation.

I've seen the ambulance in service three times within a 5 hour period today alone O_O. First time, driving on 93 to london, and i saw into the back of the ambulance and they were ressusatating someone with those shock pad things. Secondly, UWEC campus for some reason. And then a third time on London before work zooming by on clairmont...HEY! i'm learning EC streets, go me.

my BlackBerry, hasn't been working to it's full performance lately, and its be routing calls right to the voicemail...this concern's me a tad bit O_O.

So the heartfelt blog about Gus is now completely clouded by a bit of jealousy/anger b/c he slept with Billy...Yeah, i'm not going to go into to though, i'll just get frustrated.

Heart Felt Conversations

Last night, hung out with Karlyn, Jenna, Brandon, and this new guy Bill. I somewhat know Brandon, and he's cool. This Bill Guy, Fiiine as hell...and then he opened his mouth, and any attraction just died...Obviously he didn't know women well because he was saying plenty of rude things, and poking fun at Jenna, and in an slightly pervert way butt in on Karlyns massage with Brandon.

Somehow our jobs got into the mix (oh hey, i remember, Jenna almost lost her job on her first day b/c we may have been trying to hook up her with a client at the time, lol), and i found out that Bill actually works in tv. And then he said he was a reporter for news 18, and then i realized who he was, Bill Osmulski for WQOW. It made sence then, Brandon is with the National Guard, and so is Bill. duur.

Oh well. Point in being, hanging out with them was boring, and i had more fun driving home with Karlyn and Jenna.

Oufda

CrackBerry

Good god, i thought karlyn was joking when she mentioned that there actually is a website called "Crackberry.com" and it's very in-detail about everything about BlackBerry Devices.

I hate the Pearl, and am heavily addicted to it. It's replaced my ipod, tv use, e-mails, and it's almost taken the place of my laptop( which it's main usage is of illegal downloading and playing sims). I love this phone! i Can even fully integrade it into my car so all i have to do is push a button and it'll play through my speakers( minor note, when in heavily populated areas make sure you turn the volume up as your talking to someone, so all the people around your car don't think that your a cat lady parson talking to yourself). I don't know how i had ever managed my life before this blackberry. it's amazing and i highly recommend getting one. It's not the mose user friednly phone in the world when you first get it, but shortly after you'll be amazed.

"make me a supermodel" i had watched the Finale on YouTube, and i was pissed. The gay guy should have won. fucking girl, she sucked.

Early morning ex drunk phone calls-SO, woken up early this morning from drunken' crying of the ex-bf. To be honest i have no clue what he was talking about, and i just kept saying "everything will be alright" and "i agree" and then i eventually hung up, and he didn't notice. 20 mins later (Why did you hang up on me?!)

(Sigh) i don't like gay guys, there to dramatic

FRIGEN' IDIOTS!

So, i love my friends, truly i do...but some of the shit we do not-so-soberly bothers me sometimes. Like buying an old car for 200$, smashing out the windows, and then drunkenly trying to roll the car in a feild...fun yes, dumb? definatly. But, it's when other people get involved when my idiot friends really really bother me. Like, a few minutes ago, i just got a phonecall from karlyn..."MICHAEL! I'M SORRY I DIDN'T WANT GEOFF DRIVING BUT HE WOULDN'T LET ME TAKE THE KEYS! WE JUST REAR ENDED SOMEONE AND DROVE OFF" Geoff is drunk, and even though karlyn is sober, she let him drive. I'm pretty irked. One, they just hit and run someone, reguardless if there's only a tiny dent they should have pulled over. AND IT'S FUCKING 3 IN THE AFTERNOON!?!?! WTF?!!?

*sigh* frustration...

Subway, Eat Fresh. BLah BLah

Don't ask about the title it was a spur of the moment thing that have nothing to do with my day at all. SO, driving home last night I’m driving near water street on N Clairmont, and all of a fucken' sudden the computer screen in my car goes blank, and in red letters "Warning-Engine Failure" starts flashing. The car is rumbling, and the steering partially locks up and I’m freaking out because I’m slightly swerving, well enough to hear the tires slightly squealing. I pull over turn the car off, go check the engine and its components. Nothing wrong...anything, i get back in, start the car, nothings wrongs. WTF?! Why do I always have to get the possessed cars? I have bad car karma.

Man-No, really, MAN. I need a man, not a boy, not a guy, but a man. Responsible, knows what he wants in life, and a good job, good with kids, and easy on the eyes, preferably dark hair, nice lips. And Most importantly, can deal with my clumsy-accident-proaned-Ass, lol.

Cold Hard Bitch

Dear blog i've been cheating on you. No Comment

I was thinking that music needs to play wherever i go. Like, when i walk into a room i want Jet's "Cold Hard Bitch" to play. When i'm driving i want everyone to Hear "Get It By Your Hands" Original mix from Eureka 7. When i'm pissed Hoobastank's "out of control" will come on. Partying-Roll Over DJ-JET.

(sigh) yeah it would be uber-awesomeness. lol.

So, working at UHG is becoming more and more fun...not...I had an elevated warning due to, too many unplanned's. I lost my damn pack of smokes, and to top off it all, a co-worker took me responding in an e-mail to her "yeah.."completely the wrong way and went off on me. Not very nice.

OH, and part of the warning was that i was not to take any PTO for 3 fucking months, i'm all sorts of happy about that...

Damn Im Full-Screwed Up Dreams-Letting go

Yeah, famous daves is filling -_-. UGH! i don't even want to work at the moment. Moreso this feeling of wanting to pass out in my cube, with a sheet over the top so i have a fort, muahaha.

I've been having a lot of Fucked up dreams lately. Lots that have to do with something extremely wrong going on, and i have to run for my life; and in that process i'm trying to find someone that had been with me.

In the last dream, of all people that had been with me was Gus O_o. It's been years since i've spoken to Gus, and the mere thought of talking to him again just makes me want to take him out...but at the same time, i have this fucked up sence of really missing him. Gus, had been the only really Gay Guy friend i've ever had. Paul-Mark-other Paul-Eric-And Tyler don't really count O_o. They are all more party/sexual aquantences i've hung out with, but not to the point where i'd concider them "good friends."

With what everything that i and Gus had went through that ended badly, it frustrated me to say that i would have concidered him as my best friend at the time, and even moreso maybe my first love. It wasn't the healthiest lifestyle either: smoking, drinking, extreme dieting, excessive excercising, fucking with people for entertainment, drunk driving, playing mind games with others...Wanna be Paris-Hilton-lifestyles. We were horrid towards others, to Gus's boyfriend at the time...i think he had two though?O_o. In one instance Gus and i started feircly making out while his boyfriend was on the phone, and i could hear him saying "hello? is anyone there? what the hell is going on?" But...it was fun and games. Given i was 15 and everyone goes through crazy stages around those years as part of teenage rebellion.

But overall i do miss him, sure we were out of control, but we had our positive moments that hadn't been negativly affected other people, and we just let loose. Playing ps2, going for walks, swimming, playing card games and laughing about everything.

One hott day in the middle of summer. Gus's parents we're gone; we had the stereo playing Snow Patrol playing, and i think it was "chasing cars" playing, he was out on the deck staring off into the forrest, i walked up behind him, he took a deep look into my eyes, and in an instant, for some automatic reason that i still can't understand to this day, i walked up right behind him, and wrapped my arms around his lower chest from behind and gently placed my head on his right shoulder. Not even wondering what he would repondwith, he slowly leaned into my body and tilted his hed back on my left shoulder as he placed his arm over mine and cupped my hand and just stood there.I can remember like it was yesterday. This safe feeling, the warm breeze, the sun flickering through the trees as the wind blew through them, snow patrol in the background...it just felt...right. in those few moments i can only describe it as nothing more but, passion. And then came the thought that i may actually love him, but i didn't know if he felt the same.

I dont remember the rest of that day, or how long we actually stood there. But a few weeks after, we started fighting again, and then we didn't speak to eachother. I'm still unclear as is to why the fight started, or why Gus choosed not to resolve anything. For years i've been angry at him, never to the point of trash talking him or spreading rumors, but just mentioning to people when he came up, how much i hated him. I think all that hate that i had towards him wasn't even hate...but mixed up saddness bc i lost my friend.

So now, everything is in the past, and there's no going back. Even if the chance arouse where Gus and i could become friends again, it would never be the same as it was. Gus i and are completely different people now, then when we were young. It's that "oh well" feeling, lol.

(le sigh)


And i'm done

Reading Rainbow...literally

Last night i finished the last book of a three book series, and i wanted to cry. Not many things actually get me to the point as is to where i can cry, and this was intense. The Rainbow series from Alex Sanchez about three teens (Nelson-flamer Jason-gay jock and kyle-smart gay) going through different experiences about coming out, bullying, diversity, tolerance and understanding. It's an amazing series that has its ups and downs. I got really into these books, losing nights of sleep just reading, wanting to know what happens next. everything turned out absolutely inspiring by the end of the third book. And, as of now i want to call up Alex Sanchez and write more sequels to these books, lol. ( i may have to win the lottery first, because bribing people isn't what it used to be).

Work is hectic, as usual. But thank god earlier in the meeting today the rumor mill wasn't about the other night....lots of booze and other things involved, and it was hella fun. Lets play code and say that i played a good chess game with two other guys, and then prayed with jamie/barb/amy and those dudes O_o. it was awesome.


uh yeah...i gots nothings elses.